Being a perfectionist can often mean you get stuck or don’t complete tasks because you never feel they are up to your own set of standards. A writer would never press send or publish, a designer would never have their new outfits in a shop, a manager returning to the drawing board again and again rather than giving the official go ahead.

Does this sound like you? Are you a perfectionist?

Did you know there is even a term for this fear? For those that have a genuine fear of imperfection and not being good enough? It is called atelophobia, and it is an anxiety disorder.

As a therapist and Writing from The Source workshop facilitator, “perfectionism” is the number one obstacle brought up as getting in the way of completing tasks (procrastination and self doubt are the next two).

People would rather not complete (or even start) new projects than have to deal with failure. Perfectionism unintentionally gets translated in to fear. Rather than holding this as an excuse — it’s a good one I know, isn’t it better to deal with it instead?

So how do we deal with perfectionism? Well the trick is knowing what it means. I pose the question to you — what is perfection? What is perfect? If we are all striving toward it, shouldn’t we know what it is? To better understand this, let’s start with a couple of simple questions.

1. Have you ever read the perfect book? I don’t mean a good book, a great book, an amazing, interesting or enthralling book, I mean the perfect book!

Can you name it?

2. Do you own the perfect outfit? Dress, suit, jeans or skirt. Does this outfit always make you feel good? Is this outfit great for that occasion or is it in itself perfect?

Do you see where I am going with this?

“Perfect,” the way we see it (or think we see it) does not really exist. It is an illusion that we can spend hours, days or years trying to achieve… and it isn’t real. It is a bit like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Romi Grossberg is a writing therapist, holistic counsellor, facilitator of Writing from The Source workshops and author. ‘Are you a perfectionist?’ is an extract from her upcoming new book, titled ‘The 5-Minute Guide to Emotional Intelligence’ to be released in April 2016. For more information, go to www.romigrossberg.com