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Teaching ‘The Key, A Social Emotional Toolkit for Teens’ to 200 students!

On 13th December I had the pleasure of being invited to teach roughly 200 students at PanyaDee British International School in Koh Samui Thailand. No, not all at once! I taught in groups of age and year levels. Having multiple cultures, nationalities and languages certainly kept me on my toes. I absolutely love teaching from my book and course The Key, A Social Emotional Toolkit for Teens. Mostly I teach one year level or  work with teachers but on this day I got to teach every year level and then meet some of the parents.

My book and course The Key, A Social Emotional Toolkit for Teens covers over twenty topics offering coping strategies and practical life skills in mental, emotional and social health including exercises and videos. Below is a summary of the topics taught at particular year levels at PanyaDee School.

Year 7. Age 11-12: ‘What I can control v.’s what I cannot control’

I had planned to do a session on ‘Choices’ and ‘How to Think for ourselves’ with this group but when they walked in and I saw how much younger they looked I immediately changed my mind. In Australia Year 7’s are 12-13 years old and at this young age, even a year or two younger makes a big difference. In the moments of them walking in and sitting down I made a whole new lesson plan and wrote up on the board two columns: What I Can Control and What I Cannot Control to begin a discussion on the way we think, behave, learn, act and react, our goals and how we make decisions. It is important to understand at this young age that we cannot control things such as if somebody else likes us or is kind to us but we can control how we react and behave. We don’t want to be getting upset over things we cannot control including others’ thoughts and behaviours, or the way we look, colour of our skin and our height. However we can control the way we want to feel about these things. What we do in response and how we react is our choice.

They were a well-behaved and well-mannered group of students who were keen to get involved, put their hands up and participate throughout the one-hour session.

Below is the group brainstorm we did on the board.

Year 8. Age 12-13 & Year 9. Age 13-14: ‘Choices’

12- 14 years old can be a difficult age group. Being cool and fitting in starts to become more important than doing the right thing, listening to your parents or even listening to yourself. Peer group pressure and even bullying can become intolerable and standing up for yourself increasingly difficult. It is also the age (depending on culture and country) where alcohol, drugs and sex become a factor. For these two year levels I chose the topic of ‘Choices.’

 

After a lengthy discussion around what choices are, how we create good options, make good decisions that are right for us, how to listen to ourselves and deal with peer pressure we also looked at where and how we actually make decisions. Do we listen to our head? Our thinking place of  logic, rationale and common sense but also questioning, criticising and uncertainty. Do we listen to our heart? What we feel, desire, want, love, hurt and pain. Or do we listen to our gut? Sub-conscious space of knowing, trust and intuition. How do we know?

With that in mind I posed a scenario to the group based on my knowledge of this age group and of the local expat lifestyle in this area. The scenario was: You are at a house party with all of your friends from your school and other schools and someone finds a bottle of vodka. All your friends start doing shots. You don’t want to. How do you come to the decision to say no and what might be the repercussions of making this decision?

We looked at the possible positive and negative outcomes on the physical self and the possible positive and negative outcomes on the emotional self. The large group was split into smaller groups to discuss and the results of all the groups were put on the whiteboard.  As you can see from the photo below there can be many contributing factors to the thought process. The idea is not to look at which column has the most/least amount of answers as the ‘correct’ decision to make but to look at what is actually in these columns and listen to your gut instinct to know for yourself what the right thing to do is. What you value (ie:wanting your parents to feel proud or needing to feel cool) will help dictate how you make your decisions. As you can imagine many more topics and questions around what is important and why, how you feel about these things and why etc then enter in to this type of discussion.

The year 9’s handled it well and participated fully whilst the year 8’s, being a little younger were easily embarrassed, giggling, teasing each other and it was clear to me it was ‘not cool’ to participate in this type of conversation. That does not mean it is not relevant. Maybe they didn’t have the maturity yet, maybe I hit a topic to close too home, maybe there is some underlying bullying or teasing within this group but my aim is always the same – 1. That if one student feels more confident to listen to themselves and stand up for themselves then I have done my job. 2. That this conversation may be remembered a few months down the track if they find themselves in a tricky situation.

 

 

Year 10. Age 14-15 & Year 11. Age 16-17: ‘Who Am I?’

Adolescence is the developmental stage of identity where the biggest questions (consciously or subconsciously) are who am I? And where do I fit in the world? Although adolescence is considered 12-18 years I believe these identity questions become more prominent in the later years. 14-18 years old is a great age to be delving in to the topic of identity and trying to understand who we are. It is a big question and can feel hugely overwhelming and confusing so I have developed a way of teaching this that helps create understanding and less stress.

After a discussion around the topic I set the task of answering some questions that are listed in my book The Key (listed below). They answered alone before sharing with the person next to them and then back to the larger group. Asking questions in this way allows young people to learn self enquiry skills and objectively look at themselves in the the different aspects of their life, to look at and understand the similarities and differences of the different ‘versions’ of themself.

Some of the students found the questions easy to answer and some more difficult. They seemed to enjoy the partner sharing part too, learning more about each other and themselves. The conversation moved also in to topics around calming ourselves after arguments or before exams including topics such as meditation, negative thought patterns, positive self talk and the concepts of success and failure and how we understand them.

 

Meeting the Parents

So after an inspiring, exhilarating (and exhausting) day, I had a ‘meet & greet’ with the parents after the school’s day ended. A group of parents from different year levels attended to hear about what their teens had encountered with me. I went through The Key’s topics and then specifically what topics were addressed in each year level. A lengthy Q & A followed.

 

Click here for more information or to purchase your copy of The Key, A Social Emotional Toolkit for Teens.

 

 

 

Social Emotional Tools for Teens – Podcast interview on Wellthy Living, Australia.

In the six days I was in Melbourne this week launching my new book ‘THE KEY, A Social Emotional Toolkit for Teens’ at the Cultures of Thinking conference, I was approached by Lisa Entwisle from Wellthy Living; Guiding you to Live a Wealthy Life, through Connection to Self, Others and the World around you to do a podcast interview.

 

 

Episode #28: Social Emotional Tools for Teens.

August 2019.

Mental health and emotional well being are getting lots of air time in the world right now…and rightly so. We are living in a world where anxiety, depression and suicide rates are continually rising.

In this episode I chat with Social worker, author, keynote speaker and workshop facilitator Romi Grossberg to discuss her fabulous new book “the key – a social emotional toolkit for teens – which aim to teach teenagers self awareness, emotional intelligence and practical life coping skills to help reduce the rates of mental illness.

 

Lisa Entwisle – Podcast host and founder of Wellthy Living: “My mantra is “connection is medicine and I hope the content of these episodes can inform and inspire you to live a meaningful, connected and wellthy life.”

THE KEY: Hear what the students had to say

Teaching TEENAGERS about EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE is no easy task, but I was up for the challenge.

My latest book THE KEY became the workbook in my curriculum that I recently taught to grade 7 (12-13 year-olds) at Bialik College in Melbourne, the top academic school in the State.

But academia doesn’t factor when talking about emotions, as the Head of Middle School discovered when he attended one of my classes to find that it wasn’t the usual ‘smart kids’ putting their hands up, but everyone else also.

One-hour weekly classes, over a ten-week period, teaching roughly 75 students in total.

We truly started from the beginning:

“Does anyone know what emotional intelligence is?”

The response was 100% “no”.

As with every topic, they were asked to write down what they thought it might mean before bringing it in for a group discussion.

A large range of topics were covered using the tools of writing therapy, discussion, youtube, some activities, and journaling homework.

This course was about discovering your identity and thinking for yourself. There was no right or wrong, nothing was being marked or graded, this was about YOU, your thoughts, feelings, questions and concerns. Who are you? All big topics but when broken down in to smaller topics, it all can just make sense.

It is impossible to wrap up the course in one piece of writing so I will share with you some student feedback given to me on a few of the topics covered.

ON IDENTITY:

“I can be myself. I don’t need to hide anything”

POSITIVE THINKING:

“I thought I couldn’t do it (a task) but then I changed my thought pattern in to a positive one and I did it”

FRIENDSHIP:

“I started being more honest with my friends and they were honest to me and we made a stronger friendship”

ON SUCCESS AND FAILURE:

“I used to think I constantly failed but it really depends on how you define things”

FRIENDSHIP:

“Instead of saying ‘no’ to someone, I helped them with what they needed. It made me feel like a better person and a helpful person”

JEALOUSY AND ENVY:

“I watched something and I didn’t feel jealous and it felt really good”

LEARNING BREATH:

“I did better in a test because I took deep breaths first and felt much more calm”

TONE OF VOICE:

“I stopped a fight from happening by changing the tone in my voice”

APOLOGIES:

“I apologised to someone and I meant it for the first time ever”

EMPATHY:

“When walking down the street, I saw a homeless guy so I went to Coles and bought him a loaf of bread and vegemite”

TONE OF VOICE:

“I have used a different tone of voice with my siblings this week and we have had less arguments and a much better relationship”

NEGATIVE THOUGHT PATTERNS:

“I was disappointed with myself and used the 4-step process to feel better”

JEALOUSY AND ENVY:

“I got a mark on a test and my friend got higher and I was fine instead of jealous”

TONE OF VOICE:

“I now get in to less fights with my family with understanding my tone of voice”

FAMILY:

“That my parents divorce was not my fault”

A few other topics covered: Choices, Unconditional Love, Comparisons, Happiness, Sadness and Depression.

NEXT STEP?

To get this curriculum in to EVERY school. Any suggestions, advice, partnerships welcome.

Pages

The Key, A Social Emotional Toolkit for Teens

The Key, A Social Emotional Toolkit for Teens



A guidebook and resource for teenagers, parents, teachers and counsellors and can be taught in schools and community groups.

T

HE KEY, A Social Emotional Toolkit for Teens is a guidebook that covers all of those topics we just never learnt in school. It has over twenty topics under the umbrella of emotional intelligence; learning how to understand ourselves better and the world around us. THE KEY, A Social Emotional Toolkit for Teens guides students through important life skills, teaching coping strategies on various aspects of growing up through teenage years. 

Until now, I have taught THE KEY (1st Edition) myself as a 10-week program in 2017 and 2018 at Bialik College, the top school in Victoria Australia. This second edition: ‘THE KEY, A Social Emotional Toolkit for Teens’ launched in 2019 includes more activities, writing exercises, re-cap sections, youtube videos and discussion points. 

My aim in doing so is to reach more teenagers by making it easily accessible and digestible to more students and more teachers. This second edition holds all of the necessary information to be taught without my physical presence. It includes numerous videos I have made to explain more tricky topics such as understanding anxiety, negative thoughts, three different types of calming breathing techniques and more.

There is something for everyone.

Whilst I am still available to teach the course myself or run workshops on specific topics, redesigning THE KEY helps me achieve my larger goal – to reach more young people and help them lead a more socially emotionally healthy life. My dream is to have it translated in to numerous languages and available worldwide.

The language is simple and the guidance is practical. For younger teens it is a great introduction to the new world of understanding emotions and a useful ‘go to’ manual for when things arise. For mid and older teens it can be like having a personal counsellor on hand with tips and tools for handling different emotions and situations.

If you are a teacher, parent, educator, teen counsellor, school psychologist or teenager – this book is for you.



“The Key engages students to better understand their thoughts, emotions, behaviours, actions, reactions and how they interact with the school, their friends and with their parents at home. Romi’s aim is to increase self-awareness and create behaviour change at home, at school and out in the world. Clearly the students changed from some negative thoughts to positive ones as well as treating their peers and parents with more gratitude. Romi has changed a number of students in a positive manner and I commend her on all that she has achieved.”

Ian PoyserAssistant Principal-Pastoral Care Head of Middle School, Bialik College.

“The Key is very readable. (Romi) Grossberg addresses her teenage audience in a language that is unpatronizing while presenting complex issues and concepts with exceptional clarity.

The Key never offers bland, “look on the bright side” advice. Grossberg delivers a series of common-sense self-care strategies in a clear and comforting manner designed to help put adolescent problems in perspective. Moreover, she provides her readers with the strategies for practical problem-solving and finding solutions to stressful situations. The author also gives teenagers terrific tips on becoming more balanced and goal-oriented. As the readers navigate the activities they can come to powerful and meaningful decisions and take greater control of their lives.”

Kevin MorleyAuthor, Oxford University Press Independent Education Consultant

“Today’s teens are anxious and stressed. The pressure to keep up – both in school and online – has led to a mounting mental health crisis in schools and universities worldwide. It’s clear we need to take a preventative approach, one that will help our students find healthy ways to cope. Social and emotional learning provides the framework to get us there, but finding ways to get students onboard can be tough.

The Key is full of creative resources and strategies to help teens take ownership over their mental and emotional health, preparing them for life both in school and beyond.”

Amy Lauren SmithConsultant and Education Editor



Below are fifteen videos matched to the topics in your book THE KEY, A Social Emotional Toolkit for Teens. Just click on the numbered video when you come across ‘watch video’ in your book. Videos 6 to 15 are ‘locked’ due to privacy. Please register or sign-in to view them.

The Key, A Social Emotional Toolkit for Teens

The Key, A Social Emotional Toolkit for Teens



An interactive guidebook written for teenagers. A resource for parents, teachers and teen counsellors.

T

HE KEY, A Social Emotional Toolkit for Teens addresses many obstacles and difficulties adolescence face in emotional and mental health and provides them with practical and real-life steps toward greater health and confidence.

The Key engages teenagers using self enquiry and self awareness to better understand themselves, their thoughts, actions and reactions, giving them back a sense of self control. It offers practical guidance and strategies, putting seemingly complex issues in to perspective through learning, sharing, writing therapy, activities and fifteen videos.

With over 20 themes, The Key addresses topics such as anxiety and stress, negative thought patterns, exam preparation, controlled breathing, calming down, school, friendships, how to trust yourself, communicate effectively, understand sibling rivalry or a parents’ divorce and so much more.

The Key offers practical step-by-step guidance in how to lead a socially emotionally healthy life. In a world where mental health in adolescence is on the rise, this book aims to equip teenagers with the skills they need to thrive in school, in the home and in life.

If you are a teenager trying to understand yourself – your friendships, handle pressure, have good family relationships, deal with anxieties and get through school and life in a stress-free way, then this is for you.

If you are a parent wanting to assist, support and understand your teen better, then this book is for you.

If you are an educator, teen counsellor or school psychologist looking for a new resource full of activities, videos and practical explanations, then this book is for you.

If your school is interested in The Key, it can be taught in the classroom as a full course or as customised workshops by myself, a teacher or counsellor. Email: romigrossberg09@gmail.com



“The Key engages students to better understand their thoughts, emotions, behaviours, actions, reactions and how they interact with the school, their friends and with their parents at home. Romi’s aim is to increase self-awareness and create behaviour change at home, at school and out in the world. Clearly the students changed from some negative thoughts to positive ones as well as treating their peers and parents with more gratitude. Romi has changed a number of students in a positive manner and I commend her on all that she has achieved.”

Ian PoyserAssistant Principal-Pastoral Care Head of Middle School, Bialik College.

“The Key is very readable. (Romi) Grossberg addresses her teenage audience in a language that is unpatronizing while presenting complex issues and concepts with exceptional clarity.

The Key never offers bland, “look on the bright side” advice. Grossberg delivers a series of common-sense self-care strategies in a clear and comforting manner designed to help put adolescent problems in perspective. Moreover, she provides her readers with the strategies for practical problem-solving and finding solutions to stressful situations. The author also gives teenagers terrific tips on becoming more balanced and goal-oriented. As the readers navigate the activities they can come to powerful and meaningful decisions and take greater control of their lives.”

Kevin MorleyAuthor, Oxford University Press Independent Education Consultant

“Today’s teens are anxious and stressed. The pressure to keep up – both in school and online – has led to a mounting mental health crisis in schools and universities worldwide. It’s clear we need to take a preventative approach, one that will help our students find healthy ways to cope. Social and emotional learning provides the framework to get us there, but finding ways to get students onboard can be tough.

The Key is full of creative resources and strategies to help teens take ownership over their mental and emotional health, preparing them for life both in school and beyond.”

Amy Lauren SmithConsultant and Education Editor



Below are fifteen videos matched to the topics in your book THE KEY, A Social Emotional Toolkit for Teens. Just click on the numbered video when you come across ‘watch video’ in your book. Videos 6 to 15 are ‘locked’ due to privacy. Please register or sign-in to view them.

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The Key-JULY 2019

The Key, A Social Emotional Toolkit for Teens



A guidebook and resource for teenagers, parents, teachers and counsellors and can be taught in schools and community groups.

T

HE KEY, A Social Emotional Toolkit for Teens is a guidebook that covers all of those topics we just never learnt in school. It has over twenty topics under the umbrella of emotional intelligence; learning how to understand ourselves better and the world around us. THE KEY, A Social Emotional Toolkit for Teens guides students through important life skills, teaching coping strategies on various aspects of growing up through teenage years. 

Until now, I have taught THE KEY (1st Edition) myself as a 10-week program in 2017 and 2018 at Bialik College, the top school in Victoria Australia. This second edition: ‘THE KEY, A Social Emotional Toolkit for Teens’ launched in 2019 includes more activities, writing exercises, re-cap sections, youtube videos and discussion points. 

My aim in doing so is to reach more teenagers by making it easily accessible and digestible to more students and more teachers. This second edition holds all of the necessary information to be taught without my physical presence. It includes numerous videos I have made to explain more tricky topics such as understanding anxiety, negative thoughts, three different types of calming breathing techniques and more.

There is something for everyone.

Whilst I am still available to teach the course myself or run workshops on specific topics, redesigning THE KEY helps me achieve my larger goal – to reach more young people and help them lead a more socially emotionally healthy life. My dream is to have it translated in to numerous languages and available worldwide.

The language is simple and the guidance is practical. For younger teens it is a great introduction to the new world of understanding emotions and a useful ‘go to’ manual for when things arise. For mid and older teens it can be like having a personal counsellor on hand with tips and tools for handling different emotions and situations.

If you are a teacher, parent, educator, teen counsellor, school psychologist or teenager – this book is for you.

THE KEY has been taught in workshop or full course form at:

Bialik College, Australia. 2017, 2018.

PanyaDee International School, Thailand. 2019.

THE KEY has been presented at:

The Cultures of Thinking Conference, Australia. 2019.

PHASE International Education Conference, Hong Kong. 2019.



“The Key engages students to better understand their thoughts, emotions, behaviours, actions, reactions and how they interact with the school, their friends and with their parents at home. Romi’s aim is to increase self-awareness and create behaviour change at home, at school and out in the world. Clearly the students changed from some negative thoughts to positive ones as well as treating their peers and parents with more gratitude. Romi has changed a number of students in a positive manner and I commend her on all that she has achieved.”

Ian PoyserAssistant Principal-Pastoral Care Head of Middle School, Bialik College.

“The Key is very readable. (Romi) Grossberg addresses her teenage audience in a language that is unpatronizing while presenting complex issues and concepts with exceptional clarity.

The Key never offers bland, “look on the bright side” advice. Grossberg delivers a series of common-sense self-care strategies in a clear and comforting manner designed to help put adolescent problems in perspective. Moreover, she provides her readers with the strategies for practical problem-solving and finding solutions to stressful situations. The author also gives teenagers terrific tips on becoming more balanced and goal-oriented. As the readers navigate the activities they can come to powerful and meaningful decisions and take greater control of their lives.”

Kevin MorleyAuthor, Oxford University Press Independent Education Consultant

“Today’s teens are anxious and stressed. The pressure to keep up – both in school and online – has led to a mounting mental health crisis in schools and universities worldwide. It’s clear we need to take a preventative approach, one that will help our students find healthy ways to cope. Social and emotional learning provides the framework to get us there, but finding ways to get students onboard can be tough.

The Key is full of creative resources and strategies to help teens take ownership over their mental and emotional health, preparing them for life both in school and beyond.”

Amy Lauren SmithConsultant and Education Editor



Below are fifteen YouTube videos matched to the topics in your book THE KEY, A Social Emotional Toolkit for Teens. Just click on the numbered video when you come across ‘watch video’ in your book. Videos 11 and 13 are ‘locked’ due to privacy. As the reader of THE KEY, you are invited to register and be able to view them.

 The Key – Video 01: Hello!

The Key – Video 02: Who am I and why I wrote the book

The Key – Video 03: Unlocked: What’s in the Curriculum

The Key – Video 04: What teenagers think

The Key – Video 05: Finding a Counsellor is like shopping for shoes

The Key – Video 06: Learning Belly Breaths

The Key – Video 07: Breathing with colours

The Key – Video 08: Mindfulness Meditation

The Key – Video 09: Let’s understand anxiety

The Key – Video 10: Understanding Negative Thoughts

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The Key – Video 12: Tone of Voice

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Inside Out Movie Clip Sadness Comforts Bing Bong

Inside Out – Sadness Saves Riley

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